A Poignant Story

Gittin 58a presents a poignant story that both Sephardic and Ashkenazic Jews incorporate into their respective Kinnot on Tish’a Be’Av (William Davidson edition of the Talmud).

Rav Yehuda says that Rav says: There was an incident involving the son and the daughter of Rabbi Yishmael ben Elisha the High Priest, who were taken captive and sold into slavery to two different masters. After some time the two masters met in a certain place. This master said: I have a male slave whose beauty is unmatched in all of the world, and that master said: I have a female slave whose beauty is unmatched in all of the world.

The two masters said: Come, let us marry these two slaves to one another and divide the children born to them between us, as they will certainly be very beautiful. They secluded them in a room. This one, the son, sat in one corner, and that one, the daughter, sat in the other corner. He said: I am a priest and the descendant of High Priests. Shall I marry a female slave? And she said: I am the daughter of a priest and the descendant of High Priests. Shall I be married to a male slave? And they wept all through the night.

When dawn arrived they recognized each other and saw that they were brother and sister. They fell on each other and burst into tears until their souls departed due to their great distress. And with regard to them and others like them, Jeremiah lamented: “For these things I weep; my eye, my eye runs down with water” (Eichah 1:16).

There are many stories about the Churban, but only a precious few are presented in the Kinnot. What distinguishes this story that makes it so compelling to Jews of each generation until the Churban?

Self Control, Sinat Chinam, and Self Esteem

Shaarei Orah’s Naftali Mellul suggests that we celebrate the protagonists’ control of the Yetzer Hara. 

Binyamin Jachter suggests that the story serves as an example of Sinat Chinam. They each judged their counterpart as unworthy without investigating the facts. 

I note the significance of their refusing to compromise their self-esteem despite their miserable circumstances. They regarded themselves as royalty despite being designated as slaves.  Rabbanim during the Sho’ah similarly urged their followers to recite the Brachah “SheLo Asani Aved,” “thank you Hashem for not making me a slave”. The Rebbeim preached maintaining “inner freedom” despite the extreme suffering and degradation.

The Jewish people throughout our exile have maintained our dignity and high self-esteem despite the majority culture demeaning us to various degrees. Rashi’s commentary on the Torah continually plays a crucial role in reminding us that we are the “Mamlechet Kohanim,” “the nation of priests amongst the nations”. The Nevi’im of the Churban, Yeshayahu, Yirmiyahu, and Yechezkel continuously reinforced this vital message as well.

Rav Soloveitchik’s Explanation

Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik zt”l contrasts our story with other Kinnot that lament the horrific things that happened to communities and Am Yisrael at large, comes our Kinnah.  Our story, by contrast, is a story of individuals.  Judaism recognizes and values mourning for regular, normal and everyday people.  “We mourn for a boy and girl who were not leaders or scholars and who did not play any major public role” (The Lookstein Edition Kinnot p 443). “Telling a story of individuals accomplishes a twofold goal,” continues Rav Soloveitchik.  “Firstly, it demonstrates that our mourning is not just for large numbers, communities and other large-scale events.  We care for and mourn for individuals as well.  Our sadness on Tish’a Be’Av is both caused by events that heavily impacted us nationally, as well as by individual people.” 

Beyond that, Rav Soloveitchik suggests that mourning for individuals has a secondary accomplishment as well.  It enables the mourner to better connect with the events that have transpired.  It’s much easier to identify and sympathize with the pain of one person in trouble rather than a story of a national crisis.  Human nature allows us to relate to stories of individual people better than large scale numbers or events.

To this second advantage of recalling a story of individuals, Rav Soloveitchik found support from a Midrash found in BeReshit Rabbah (33:5).  It describes how Rabi Akiva, while visiting Ginzak (a city), told the people there both about the Mabul (flood) narrative, one that reports the destruction of the world, as well as the heartbreaking events of Iyov (Job).  The reaction from the people to Iyov's tribulations was significantly greater, for after hearing about him, they broke out into tears.  While after the No’ach story, the people’s reaction was significantly less intense. 

Rav Jesse Horn

Rav Jesse Horn of Yeshivat HaKotel argues that “there is, however, a small problem with Rav Soloveitchik’s approach to this Kinnah”.  It is somewhat difficult to imagine that these two children were selected as paradigmatic examples of no-name individuals.  After all, they were the children of the Kohen Gadol.  Certainly, other people, maybe with a less well-known lineage, and family background, could have been selected.  And if no other story drives home the message as well as this one does, the Paytan should have left out that particular information.  If the Kinnah truly wanted to stress that these people were common people, it should have told the story anonymously.

However, it is true that this Kinnah is very unique in so far as it tells such a long and detailed story of individuals.  Perhaps, beyond what Rabbi Soloveitchik suggested or maybe slightly differently from what he had suggested, there is another profound element to the message of this Kinnah.  This Kinnah intentionally uses individuals from aristocracy and superb pedigree.  Their tragic decline serves as a paradigm for a parallel phenomenon on a national level.  All Jews suffered, even the Jews from the most respected and significant families.

There are many allusions and supports to this slightly alternate approach.  The story of how people were to be bred like animals really illustrates our newly developed theory.  What could be more expressive of Klal Yisrael’s demise than its most respected citizens from its most respected family being enslaved and bred for sale?  

When crying all night long, Rabi Yishmael Kohen Gadol’s son says, “How will a grandson of Aharon marry a slave-girl,” and his daughter wonders how “a daughter of Yocheved (can) marry a slave?”  The characters themselves are undoubtedly grieving this exact point. They aren’t selfishly concerned with their own fate.  They are mourning how Bnei Yisrael has fallen so severely.  This is even more clear when taking into account the fact that, in this Kinnah, both the son and the daughter speak only once.  Presumably, the Paytan has them communicate something of great importance.  They are recognizing Am Yisrael’s collapse.

A People of Extremes

We add that our story also expresses a powerful point made by the Gemara (Megilla 16a). The story of the son and the daughter of Rabi Yishmael Kohen Gadol shifts from an extreme high to an extreme low. Our suffering as a people is also extreme, as Eichah states (1:12) “Im Yeish Machov KeMachovi,” “Is there a pain like mine?”

Final Thought

The story ends on a disturbing note. The son and daughter cannot tolerate their terrible fall and they both die in despair. The Jewish people after its many trials and tribulation could have easily fallen into this trap. However, as an expression of our collective strength, we do not succumb; we rebuild.

The Jewish communities with the largest population growth in the immediate aftermath of the Sho’ah were the Displaced Persons camps. Almost immediately after their liberation, many if not most survivors married and started to build (or in many cases rebuild) their families. Unlike the protagonists of our story, we Jews refuse to capitulate to our sorrow. Instead, we draw upon our collective strength and we rebuild and eventually thrive with Hashem’s help and support.