2021/5781

Parashat Acharei Mot and Kedoshim talk about many practical and essential laws and lessons. One such study is critical for our growth in Yahadut, especially during Sefirah. The Pasuk in Kedoshim says, "Lo Tikom VeLo Titor Et Bnei Amecha VeAhavta LeRe’acha Kamocha Ani Hashem Elokechem” You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against your countrymen. Love your fellow as yourself: I am the LORD". Rashi brings two critical lessons on the two different aspects of the Pasuk.

Rashi explains Lo Tikom as if someone asks his friend to borrow something from him, and he says no, and then the next day, the one who said no to him because he did not allow him the day before is taking vengeance. Bearing a grudge against someone is when they do not lend you something when they ask you in return, you give it to them. However, you say something like, and I am doing this even though you did not help me. However, we can ask, this is a perfectly logical thing to do. Why should I  go above and beyond, even if my friend made a mistake before and did not help me? The answer could be VeAhavta LaReacha Kamocha", just as your friend may have made a mistake by not helping you, so too we all make mistakes. Similarly, just as we justify our actions, so too we should try to encourage them and not hold a grudge against them when they make mistakes. 

Rashi subsequently comments on VeAhavta LeReacha Kamocha, and he makes the famous comment (song) of Rabi Akiva, Zeh Klal Gadol BaTorah. We can ask, this is important, but aren't there many essential lessons in the Torah, why specifically this one. We could answer from the story of Rabi Akiva's life. The Gemara in Ketubot relates that when Rabi Akiva was younger, he was a Shepherd for Ben Kalba Savua. His daughter saw that Rabi Akiva was a high-quality person with good character and said, if I marry, you will learn Torah. We may infer that for the daughter of a wealthy individual to recognize the shepherd as special that he must stand out . Even though we know Rabi Akiva did not know Torah at all at the time, he had this quality of loving his fellow that was apparent to the daughter of his employer. This incident more than any other increased his love of his fellow because if it were not for the daughter of Ben Kalba, he would never have started learning Torah. Her realization that Rabi Akiva could be great is what led him to become one of the greatest (if not the greatest) Tannaim. If not for the push she gave him, he might have never pursued  Torah greatness. 

This story teaches  a critical lesson. Frequently we believe that we are not great because we are overlooked or ignored and we do not realize our great potential. All Rabi Akiva needed was Ben Kalba’s daughter to inform him how great he could be. However, we could sometimes be on the opposite side and overlook people who may not be as good at us at certain times or something. However, we should always see the good in every person in every situation. 

Perhaps, this is the connection between the two parts of Pasuk. We have to be aware of the people around us and not think only about ourselves. We can think someone is rude when they do not help us or share with us, and sometimes we do not know the whole situation. When someone mistreats you, that is not a reason or justification for doing something to someone in return or, even worse, to denigrate someone and bring them down in the process. If we choose instead to uplift someone and encourage them, we can help them and ourselves fulfill our full and potential like Rabi Akiva.